This post originally appeared on wordpost.org, a personal project of mine. But since there’s some relevance for this blog I decided to include it here, too.

I recently talked with some of my fellow graduates of the last decade (aka GOLD alumni), and we decided that the traditional way our respective alma maters appeal to us is sometimes…well, annoying.

It’s not the solicitation that bothers us. It’s the overly emotional copy, the over-use of bold text for emphasis, and the hackneyed pea of economic hardship.

But most of all, we get annoyed because the appeal letters don’t address our relationship with the colleges and universities we love so much.

So colleges and universities, here are four things not to do:

1. Don’t send a generic form letter or appeal package. We’ll probably just shred it.
2. In your letter, don’t talk all about the need for money until you’ve addressed your relationship with us first (desperation doesn’t get donations—relationships do)
3. Don’t include a reply envelope with no stamp and no option to give online.
4. Don’t dodge the truth. If you’re in trouble partly because you overshot your enrollment goal last year and your endowment is far too small to rely on, just tell us. We value honesty.

Instead, please do the following:

1. Use your contacts in the social media world. If we get messages from our friends on Twitter or Facebook asking us to give, we’re more likely to pull out our credit cards.
2. Have a former advisor send us an email (even a bulk email!) letting us know why you need help raising money
3. Before you ask for more money, let us know that our past gifts mean a lot with a tangible example—”your past gift of $100 meant we could….[fill in the blank]”
4. PLEASE give us an option to give online. We hate writing checks. There’s no immediate receipt for our taxes and giving online is ten times faster and easier.